Essay

“Blech…that’s nasty…” I said. I said it a lot. Pictures of slimy tapeworms were on my computer screen. Smelly clams and octopi lay in a dissecting tray. All of this alongside three other girls…even worse or even better? Sometimes I couldn’t tell. Fourth period was a trip, but outside of class became even more of an unknown environment.

Science is a good subject, at least for me. My teacher, realizing some others and myself were ahead of the class, set us aside for an independent study. She said we could make it our “dream classroom”, doing projects none of the others could. The elite group was all girls, including me. The other three had always hung out before, but I didn’t hang with them that much. During our studies, we started off slow, barely getting any work done because no one was there to see. We’d sit and talk and make fun of each other until we got bored. Then we’d do a miniscule amount of research.

At first, the group was a partnership. Things ran pretty smoothly. My partner, Lauren, didn’t talk much. What little things she did say were usually insults, jokes, orders, or facts for projects. The insults and insulting jokes never really got to me: they were pretty funny, and I laughed at them too. Every science class, we’d head to the library. We’d sit at the same two computers. Every day.

Our first project was about worms. Both of us gagged continuously. The pictures, the life cycle, etc. were not the prettiest thing in the world. Thinking it was acceptable, I goofed off a lot, making jokes and giving Lauren looks that told her she could, and should, join in. She rarely complied, but she laughed a little before telling me to shut up and forcing me back to research. Our project media was to be a power point. In Lauren’s eyes, I’m guessing, it was to be informative (boring). In my eyes, it was to be both informative and entertaining (awesome). I struggled to make it funny, and she let me at least try, thank God. We had a picture of Dr. Oz and Oprah holding a tapeworm, against Lauren’s wishes.

When the assignment was finished, I went over well. We got a good grade and were ready for a new challenge. One of those challenges was new people. Two more girls were added: Ashley and Kylie. According to our teacher , they got in because “Ashley kept whining”. Our group was as full as it would get, any fuller and we’d be in trouble.

Our next topic for an assignment was mollusks and echinoderms (at first I was thinking the exact same thing you’re probably thinking now, “What…?”). We wanted to go deeper into the freedom of independent study, so we ventured into dissection and models. Ms. Houston, our teacher ,got us some clams and octopi to cut apart. The smell of fish was killing us all slowly. Out in an open part of the hallway, the stench wouldn’t go away. We occasionally had to go to the window and stick our heads out just to breathe. Being the vegetarian of the group, I was actually the one doing the most slicing and dicing (ironic much??).

Constant “ew”s and disgusted shivers came from Ashley. From Kylie, Nasty looks and “this is gross”s. From Lauren, the occasional grossed out “ugh” and weird looks. Some of these expressions were also uttered on my part, though I did tell the others to quit freaking out. The clam’s little foot stuck out of the shell, and I reached for the scalpel. I wiggled the knife in between the two sides and began to pull the clam apart, little by little, onlookers disgusted. We took pictures and moved on to the octopi the next day. Similar grossness accompanied these little things. Turns out, since they were purchased from a grocery store, they had nothing really in them. Waste of time. But Ashley still shivered, especially when I accidentally got the octopus on her hand. It was funny, but she freaked out. After we were done with the “dissection” we tried not to touch anything (the octopi were very slimy. Yuck.)

From the escapades with the clams and octopi, we learned…barely anything. To make up for that waste of time, we researched the anatomies. We continued to joke around all the time, but we knew we had to work. Our deadline wasn’t far ahead. Then came the Play Doh. Making the models was fun, especially when not actually making them. When Lauren and I tried to mix colors, automatic freak outs came from Ashley and Kylie. Not angry ones, they were still smiling, just concerned. They thought we would run out of Doh. I could care less. I needed a color, so I reassured them we would not run out of their precious clay.

Myself and Lauren then proceeded to get into an all out Play Doh war, right there in the back of the library. It had stated when we were playing Play Doh basketball, shooting a rolled up blob of the stuff into the container, held by the other person. All was fine until Lauren thought I was looking and threw it back to me. Guess what? I wasn’t looking. It hit me in the face. I was angry, really angry, but it was funny, and I knew it. From then on, science was work and war. Throw Play Doh here, make it look like the interior of an octopus there. I like to say I won, but I’m not sure. Often, I would throw over a bunch of the clay and would run to the other end of the library before Lauren could drill me again. I got both laughs and disapproving glances from Ashley and Kylie. I had fun though, no matter what they all thought.

Sometime into the beginning of this independent study, I thought it would be okay to sit with Lauren, Ashley, Kylie, and their friends at lunch. So I switched tables. It was kind of awkward at first: people don’t usually just hang out with another clique. I did need to ask them questions about the project though, and that was my excuse. There wasn’t much to say about the assignments, so the table usually fell back to talking about T.V. shows, shopping, and classes. These subject were common in every girl’s world, but no craziness was preferred. I was used to being my old wild self with my friends at lunch, but I held back a little here. I thought it was better that way, but I still didn’t like the feeling. They were nice people, and I wanted to hang out with them, so I kept sitting there. During recess, however, I was with my other friends.

In the library, still working with Play Doh, I learned something new. You will get slapped across the face if you cuss, or attempt to cuss, in front of Kylie. I decided to push the limits one day and said “F…..” with abit of an “uh“ to throw her off. I was hit and hurt before I could finish saying “fire truck”. Oopsie. I wasn’t going to try that again. I laughed it off, but still had it against her, though she never will believe that I was going to say fire truck and not otherwise.

At lunch, I would still sit with them. They were good friends, even though I had a little trouble being myself around them. I could contribute to most of the conversation topics, although sometimes I didn’t. I was comfortable being uncomfortable, in this case. After a while of me being their lunch guest, they had the nerve to ask me why I was sitting with them. They had noted “no offense” but some was taken. Shouldn’t they know why I was sitting there? I was their fiend right? Of course I was. I said, “Because I want to.” I didn’t really keep their question in mind, and continued to try to blend in with their clique so I could be accepted within my independent study group.

Nearing the end of the year, Our project was close to finished. We worked on the labels and got them into the Doh with toothpicks, still throwing it at each other, joking, and laughing. On the last day of school we presented it to Ms. Houston. I had done less work on them than the others, since I had been gone a few days, but we were all proud. The models looked great. Our teacher had questions about what we had learned (some of which we couldn’t very well answer), but she liked the models. We were all happy. We had approval and the last day of school. The rest of the day, I attempted to follow them around to different science classrooms. We got out of staying to minutes later than everyone else by leaving Ms. Houston’s room. Nice judgment on their part.

After school was over, we barely talked. Lauren, Ashley, and Kylie rarely texted back. I only saw Ashley once, because our dads know each other. I hadn’t seen Lauren that summer, but that was okay. She didn’t talk much anyway. As for Kylie, she was moving. I was invited to her going away party at a friend of ours, Caroline, but I couldn’t make it. Now, I was back to my regular friends. I could be myself more freely and I saw them more often. I have to ask now hwy I sat there that school year, but why I sat there so long.